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Rollercoaster of Emotion
By Harmony | August 29, 2008 | 9:47 am
It’s been a day now and I’ve had some time to let it sink in. I feel a little disappointed, but strangely, I’m not as distraught as I thought I’d be. I feel bad for my boss, who’s been interviewing potential replacements for weeks, and my boyfriend, who is waiting to make a decision about his own living arrangements post-October. For me, it’s just business as usual. A service delay means I have more time to save money, and more time to enjoy those things I won’t have after I finally do ship out.
I found myself pacing around the house last night. For the first time in months, I felt…deflated. I no longer felt a pressing urge to study my French. Now I’m not even certain that I’m going to a French-speaking country! I didn’t feel like working on building my website, since it is currently designed around my (former) country of departure. I didn’t feel like checking the Peace Corps forums, because I’d feel sad that all the other nominees are getting their invitations and I’m left behind.
I feel like that nerdy kid on the playground that didn’t get picked for the dodge ball team. I guess I’ll just go sit on the wall with the deviants.
The Placement Officer hasn’t called me back yet. I imagine that she’s looking at my file and working feverishly to find placement in a country that can accommodate me. Or, maybe she just went home early for the three-day weekend. Either way, I’ll wait until Tuesday before calling her again. I need to be persistent, not annoying.
Topics: Application, Nomination, and Invitation |